Aug 15, 2017

Falling in love with a writer.

Her fingertips trail the backbone of her novel, 
tenderly as if it was a fragile newborn.
She cradles it, and gasps at a paragraph. 

You draw closer, inching towards for a kiss and she gives it to you. 

Albeit distracted, drunk in text and mentally stimulated from reading. 

She reaches out for a pen. It doesn't matter which.

She needs to pen her thoughts and seal them from waltzing away.
Nothing else matters. This is a vacuum of space no amount of coaxing can trespass.

She falls asleep with a book huddled at her bedside, her hand on your chest.

Soft, gentle breathing brushing the hair down your neck.

She is yours now. 

Stay a little while.

- Audrey L.




May 23, 2017

Chapter One (Month)


                                                            [ H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y   N I C O L E ]





Mar 8, 2017

Empowered women, empower women.

This is the story of how it all begun. In third person, because that's how I'd like to remember it. 





Audrey stepped into the media industry 10 years ago, as a 17 year old. Young and naive, she started her blog to document bits and pieces of her late mother. You wouldn't expect this from a girl her age, and what accompanied the dark prose and hasty recollection of events. After all, she was 17. 

She was offered an ambassadorship contract with Shiseido's younger sister brand within 6 months of launching clumsily into the blogosphere (a word that is obsolete and irrelevant now). Despite not knowing where it would take her, she went in great faith and took the contract. She worked with the company for 5 years attending media events, gracing glossy magazines, getting dolled up by top makeup artists for shoots and more. She met people, lots and lots of people. Funny because she initially thought that she would be blogging until graduation, and eventually take a dreaded leave to find a "proper office job" whatever that is.

She wrote so many goodbyes on this blog. Too many to count in fact. Well kept in her archives, with each one marking a milestone. Graduation from her second diploma, she thought that she might have to focus on her studies. She enrolled herself into University, took on double degree majors and juggled a full time job while at it. She gave up on her blog, and the steady income that came along with it. However, blessed was she when Instagram came along. A platform that offered users to offer bite-sized information about their lives. Perfect!

Like everything else, Audrey was late to the game. After all, it is in her blood to be a late bloomer in regards to trends. She never watched popular tv shows to catch up with conversations. She never shackled to mainstream games. She set up her Instagram account more than 6 months after it became popular among her peers, who were way ahead of her in their game. She was lagging behind by the thousands, yet she decided to set up an account not directly related to her name. She thought that it would help her disconnect from her online persona.

She bought her first secondhand DSLR despite everyone telling her that she would be happier with a cute pink compact camera. A close friend even told her that, a phone camera would be sufficient if she wanted to pursue photography. It was obvious that no one took her seriously. As a girl, she felt that there was simply too much she couldn't do.

She was as stubborn as hell and refused to adhere to the standards shoved into her hands. She made lots of videos in her free time, shot waaaayy too many pictures for fun. She got noticed somehow and people started looking beyond her online persona. 

Close to 3 years ago, she became proud employee of a startup that sat around 2 office tables for lunch. She believed in the company's humility as a young startup, the culture and everything beyond the glossy pictures. Today, TheSmartLocal mentors close to 100 bright, passionate young people who don't treat work like work. People who are not just numbers on a spreadsheet or commodity to recruiters. Here's to us achieving far more than what the naysayers say we can do, to breaking down gender stereotypes and getting closer to workplace equality! Happy International Women's Day girlfriends 👊🏻 



Dec 20, 2016

Live the life you dare.

I am writing this from the comfort of a public library. Not the most glamorous choice. Trust me, I would most rather be writing on a beach on Fiji but it is what it is, a desperate attempt to immortalise my thoughts into this little space I call my own. We dictate our own thoughts, choosing to vocalise some and forcing the rest back into dark retreat. Like an orchestra of black letters, lunging out in full force yet gentle upon release. And this is how I would like to remember it. Raw, unshackled. As it is.

It has, no doubt, been a rough 2 years for me. Both in my career and personal life. For starters, 2015 was an intense year for me in a very physical way. I was admitted to the hospital on my 25th birthday, with a mass in my womb that no prayer could take away. Not gonna explain what happened (again). My biggest takeaway is that it served as a nasty wake up call to me. That health and the horrible sides of it is like that friend you don't want to mess around with. I learnt that I can’t choose if I were to get hurt or not, I just have to learn to forgive the process. No matter how warped it might be. 

It is hardly difficult to envision us taking our health for granted. That is what we do. We think that we would live to see the world, to live out those cliche you-only-live-once moments. We think that everyone would have the opportunity to fall in love, once, twice, too many times. We think that we have forever to kiss our parents goodnight. We think that we could be “friends forever”. Like all things, time is a fleeting moment and we have to take charge of it. We all say that we do, but we don’t. We make bad decisions at the dinner table, we fall for the same “type” knowing that they would destroy us in a heartbeat. We overlook expiry dates, we attempt to drink our collective emptiness away.

Maybe we are afraid. Too shaken to admit that we do not have the luxury of time to waste anymore. But yet we do, we spend too much time on people who won’t give us any. We spend too much time on chasing things that don’t matter, earning money to impress people who won’t matter. We create the platform that society despises, and we point fingers at the latter when shit happens.

When all we need is an ounce of faith to flip a switch and shut the lights on all that we believe and used to believe in. Uncertainty is a beautiful thought. How could we possibly step out of our comfort zones when we are certain and guarded. That’s the beauty of it I guess. Still figuring this out.


So in this coming year, don’t be afraid to say what you feel and do what you need to do. Even if it is unconventional. Even if it is frowned upon. Too many people will try to tear you down just because. Allow yourself to say goodbye to some people who hurt you time and time again. Do it because you won’t be afraid of getting hurt anymore. Have the courage to learn and unlearn. To finally let it go. Do it because it matters to you. 2017 will come and go. Do it because we are all running out of time.

May 15, 2016

Weekends with Innisfree






Prepping my skin with a new kid on the block. Spent the weekend shooting products and it was honestly pretty fun this time round because I managed to make a roadside bush work out for this shoot. And got shat on by an unassuming bird (I choose to believe that it was unintentional but who knows right). Pictures are a little blur because blogger.com seems to downsize my picture quality which is so screwed up for me at this juncture. Wish I was techy enough to figure this one out but I guess I will have to hold out until a solution magically appears. Thanks for sticking around guys, really appreciate it.