Live the life you dare.

I am writing this from the comfort of a public library. Not the most glamorous choice. Trust me, I would most rather be writing on a beach on Fiji but it is what it is, a desperate attempt to immortalise my thoughts into this little space I call my own. We dictate our own thoughts, choosing to vocalise some and forcing the rest back into dark retreat. Like an orchestra of black letters, lunging out in full force yet gentle upon release. And this is how I would like to remember it. Raw, unshackled. As it is.

It has, no doubt, been a rough 2 years for me. Both in my career and personal life. For starters, 2015 was an intense year for me in a very physical way. I was admitted to the hospital on my 25th birthday, with a mass in my womb that no prayer could take away. Not gonna explain what happened (again). My biggest takeaway is that it served as a nasty wake up call to me. That health and the horrible sides of it is like that friend you don't want to mess around with. I learnt that I can’t choose if I were to get hurt or not, I just have to learn to forgive the process. No matter how warped it might be. 

It is hardly difficult to envision us taking our health for granted. That is what we do. We think that we would live to see the world, to live out those cliche you-only-live-once moments. We think that everyone would have the opportunity to fall in love, once, twice, too many times. We think that we have forever to kiss our parents goodnight. We think that we could be “friends forever”. Like all things, time is a fleeting moment and we have to take charge of it. We all say that we do, but we don’t. We make bad decisions at the dinner table, we fall for the same “type” knowing that they would destroy us in a heartbeat. We overlook expiry dates, we attempt to drink our collective emptiness away.

Maybe we are afraid. Too shaken to admit that we do not have the luxury of time to waste anymore. But yet we do, we spend too much time on people who won’t give us any. We spend too much time on chasing things that don’t matter, earning money to impress people who won’t matter. We create the platform that society despises, and we point fingers at the latter when shit happens.

When all we need is an ounce of faith to flip a switch and shut the lights on all that we believe and used to believe in. Uncertainty is a beautiful thought. How could we possibly step out of our comfort zones when we are certain and guarded. That’s the beauty of it I guess. Still figuring this out.

So in this coming year, don’t be afraid to say what you feel and do what you need to do. Even if it is unconventional. Even if it is frowned upon. Too many people will try to tear you down just because. Allow yourself to say goodbye to some people who hurt you time and time again. Do it because you won’t be afraid of getting hurt anymore. Have the courage to learn and unlearn. To finally let it go. Do it because it matters to you. 2017 will come and go. Do it because we are all running out of time.