Mar 13, 2013

MUSES OF THE FLOWER GIRL







"Be like the flower who even gives its fragrance to the hand that crushes it." - Imam Ali

I've grown to find joy in the documentation of flowers. Especially when it coincides with the job, it is no wonder I never feel like I'm working at all. I'm thankful to be able to work (partially) with an important person in my life, with us motivating each other (or rather he tries to motivate me as I'm quite the pessimistic sort who refuses to believe in true platonic love) In all honestly, I've never been the kinda girl who squeals in the presence of flowers. I mean, I love flowers but I'm just reserved about my adoration for them. 

Being surrounded by flowers since I was a young girl, I've grown to be accustomed to their beauty and fragility. Kinda hate myself for not paying much attention when I was younger and we're thinking of attending floral arrangement classes/training now. Well, my late-mother used to do up the floral arrangements in the church sanctuary for years. Being an active little girl, I spent a great deal of time dancing around the pews, whilst helping the ladies with odd-jobs (floral arrangements, I now realize)

At the end of the week, the breath-taking floral arrangements start to wither and have to be replaced shortly. I often wonder if this concept of renewal also translates into how I view my life in general. Our lives end like how it started, we arrive alone and leave alone. The fear of loss and fragility has molded us into individuals who are constantly on our toes, subconsciously fighting against paranoid inhibitions and dejection -launching us into the depths of inadequacy. We place high importance in catering for others like they would cease to exist if we stopped providing those things. I used to be constantly worried, stressed and unwilling to pursue my dreams in fear of compromising another. Not anymore.

We are sufficient enough and should stop living for the dreams of another. 
We could just be contented with what we're truly passionate about.

The society clearly doesn't reflect that ideology, no matter how comforting it may seem to the ears. Some people succeed, some don't. Either they were born with a silver spoon, lucky enough to have a generous investor (parents probably) for their startup. Or they worked pretty damned hard for their accomplishments. Others, simply do not make it as they have endless dues to pay off. Endless debts left behind by another. As the years whizz past unforgivingly, we crave for some sort of recognition. Be it from your superior, colleagues, parents, friends, even your partner. We want to feel needed in every aspect and above all... indispensable. 

I find it quite impossible to rid that awful feeling when some of my friends come to me for advice, mostly about them throwing up unpleasant word vomit about their desk-bound jobs. They never seem to have an answer to why they are constantly trapped under the shackles of an "ideal stable job". Perhaps we should take a moment to think about what we really want to achieve in our mundane lives, without giving a damn about what others expect of us and the pure refusal to be molded into the ideals of another.